Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships.
There’s no apparent division of relationships in the title so I’m going to name some.
Acquaintances; friends; good friends; best buddies; lovers.
That roughly covers the majority of them, don’t you think?
Oops, forgot the taxman, local MP . . . I think you get where I’m coming from. Mind you, even these people are covered by the following overall principle.
BE KIND, SMILE. Applies to All the above. Even those trying to be offensive. The advantages are numerous.
- You will feel better for being kind and warm;
- The small act of friendliness may well evoke a positive reaction;
- Even if it doesn’t, it COSTS you NOTHING and has no down side. (Even if the other person is angry or upset. Leave it, walk away! There is no point prolonging the situation. )
One area at a time: “Acqaintances” – people in the street, at the shops, when you’re out chilling, you get the picture. See above, works ALL the time.
“Friends” – people you know to a greater extent than acquaintances. See above. What your ‘healthy boundaries’ may be with this group depends on how well you know them. Whatever you choose DON’T LET ANYTHING CHANGE WITHOUT MUTUAL AGREEMENT! That’s why it’s called a boundary.
‘Good friends ‘ – this is a bit tricky. The moral decay that you can see around you has blurred the boundaries that used to ensure that you can rely on the word of someone. I.e., the reputation they have. Trust, respect and decency are at the core of true friendship. Your limit should be mutually agreed.
‘Good friends ‘ – a certain movie was the source of the expression, “friends with benefits”. For me, that’s just another way of dismissing any moral obligation so you can satisfy some natural but not appropriate fleshly impulse.
‘Best buddies’ and ‘lovers’ – see above.
From ancient times in human history, setting a boundary was one of the most sacred and vital aspects of life.
It could be a simple stone, placed in an agreed place between 2 humans. They both knew the implications. If you or your animals cross this line, we’re going to have a problem.
In English history, there was a time that the government dictated some boundaries because of sheep farming and wool production.
In many places, you can see the results of this boundary setting. It adds a certain charm and it’s probably the only human intervention that gave the countryside an appealing aspect on a certain level.
Going further back, the Romans decided to keep the Scots out of Britannia by building a wall all the way from the east to the western coast. Thanks Hadrian.
Give us a call when you’ve got less time. Oh no, he’s dead already. And the Scots got in anyway. So much for boundaries.
Boundaries are a necessity. It protects your interests, and those of your ‘acquaintances, friends, etc.’ It makes for peace between people and allows freedom within the limits you agreed beforehand.
The easiest way to think about it is – smile, be kind, if you don’t receive alike treatment, walk away and don’t ruin your peace because someone hasn’t got any themselves.
Have a great week.
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