How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
When I was younger, saying no was like acknowledging that I couldn’t handle several things at the same time.
You can see what’s wrong with that can’t you? In the 1st place, I was young. Everything’s possible right? In the 2nd place, what I was being asked must have been within my skill set or they wouldn’t have asked.
The result is that, one way or another, you don’t actually achieve the best result (not always). You’re divided, distracted and the focus has been disturbed or manipulated away from you.
I guess it’s about control. Wait for it! No, I’m not a control freak. Honest! I’ve been repeatedly told that the fairer sex are great at multitasking.
Be that as it may, I’m not! (And there was much rejoicing.) So, slowly, I’ve learned to say No. Especially if it’s in relation to interfering with certain priorities.
That’s key. Read it again if you like, I can wait. Done? So learning to say no is very important in establishing and maintaining your equilibrium.
You’ve got to weigh it up, make some reasonable comparisons and then ask yourself: if I say yes, where does that lead?
I’ve personally found that ‘no’ is also good if it seriously interferes with my current objectives.
Now and again, it’s possible to give your time and energy where it may directly assist or alleviate a good friend that has a real problem. That’s not when you say ‘no’.
After all, being a real friend is a greater priority. You make sacrifices when your friends need you. It’s the exception that makes the rule.
I wish you the wisdom and insight required the next time someone asks you to do something for them.
Just don’t drop everything on someone else’s whim or fancy just because of some perceived idea that it’s important for them.
Your goals are also important. So just stop, ask the question (see above) and then choose.
You don’t need to be impatient or snotty* about it. A phrase I use is “I can’t fit that around my current situation, sorry!” Smile.
It’s a soft landing, nobody died, it’s not the end of the world, hold onto your perspective and be kind about it.
I’m sure you’ll find it’s not scary at all to just say “NO!” 😬
*”snotty” colloquial English for someone who reacts in a petty, irritated manner at the merest hint of a possible suggestion that they might be annoying you in some way. You know who they are!
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